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Chains of Gold
May. 30th, 2003 07:59 amI don't think I've posted anything of real value here recently...
Maybe my laments over Prom...
My parents questioned me this morning.
See, last night at dinner I told them that I was going down this Sunday evening to see Claire.
This means that I'm going to be missing a Family Get-Together, which I'm loathe to do.
But I told them I knew that, and the issue passed, the rest of dinner going as usual.
This morning I got up for work, which is the way things run.
Went downstairs and made my lunch and got breakfast...
As things were stretching on before time to leave, my mom asked me:
"So, if you and Claire have decided you have irreconcilable differences as concerns marriage, why are you still Seeing each other?"
The capital-S was strongly present.
"Because we haven't decided they're irreconcilable." I mumbled.
Correction, I haven't decided such. She may well be past that by now...
"You're not going to compromise your values, are you?"
The echoes of that are still ringing in my ears. No, of course not. I can't compromise who I am.
But the issue is that Elizabeth and I had been talking just the other night, and I said "Everyone makes compromises. It's just a matter of decided which things you can't let go."
I can physically feel it pulling at my bones.
The thing is, it's not a matter of how much I love her. We didn't break up because my affections or hers were brought into question. It wasn't so cut and dry as "I don't like you" or anything else so juvenile. The issue was in me. I can't but be a Catholic, and if Claire doesn't want a Catholic man...
I could be happy together with Claire if, and that's not fair to her.
I don't know... I want to be near to her, but I don't want to open old wounds...
Though, maybe I'm the only one who's going to be hurt...
Maybe my laments over Prom...
My parents questioned me this morning.
See, last night at dinner I told them that I was going down this Sunday evening to see Claire.
This means that I'm going to be missing a Family Get-Together, which I'm loathe to do.
But I told them I knew that, and the issue passed, the rest of dinner going as usual.
This morning I got up for work, which is the way things run.
Went downstairs and made my lunch and got breakfast...
As things were stretching on before time to leave, my mom asked me:
"So, if you and Claire have decided you have irreconcilable differences as concerns marriage, why are you still Seeing each other?"
The capital-S was strongly present.
"Because we haven't decided they're irreconcilable." I mumbled.
Correction, I haven't decided such. She may well be past that by now...
"You're not going to compromise your values, are you?"
The echoes of that are still ringing in my ears. No, of course not. I can't compromise who I am.
But the issue is that Elizabeth and I had been talking just the other night, and I said "Everyone makes compromises. It's just a matter of decided which things you can't let go."
I can physically feel it pulling at my bones.
The thing is, it's not a matter of how much I love her. We didn't break up because my affections or hers were brought into question. It wasn't so cut and dry as "I don't like you" or anything else so juvenile. The issue was in me. I can't but be a Catholic, and if Claire doesn't want a Catholic man...
I could be happy together with Claire if, and that's not fair to her.
I don't know... I want to be near to her, but I don't want to open old wounds...
Though, maybe I'm the only one who's going to be hurt...
