I should have waited until after my birthday to email her.

[jackofallgeeks]

So. Kira's been quiet for the last couple of months. I emailed her in March, and again in April, and one last time just a day or so ago. Today I got a response from her, but hardly the sort I was hoping to get (though, in part, exactly what I was expecting). She apologized and said that she hadn't been ignoring me on purpose, just that she was busy with life and work and hardly had time to keep up with her local friends, let alone "someone I haven't met." She said she didn't see "us" going anywhere, just wasn't feeling a connection, and didn't want to lead me on. So ends another relationship.

I can't say I'm not disappointed. I'm very disappointed. Partly because, yeah, she was a nice girl and, I don't know, I liked the potential I saw there, and I feel like (once again) I'm not really being given a fair trial, but... It's just that it's always like this, more or less. In the last few years I've met several girls who were really nice and things seemed to be going well, and then... not. And I'm just tired. I'm frustrated and discouraged and disappointed and... tired.

Being single's nice. For what it's worth I've been enjoying myself. But it's not what I want. And yeah, maybe part of my problem is that I just want to hard, but that doesn't change the fact that when I sit and think of what I want to do with my life, "raise a family" is at the top of the list. It always has been. I can't not want it.

I just wish it didn't always feel like I was being left behind.

Comments

[dikaiosunh.livejournal.com]

Fair enough. I'll dispense with the rational argument for the moment. I know rejection sucks (trust me, I KNOW).

[jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com]

I trust you do; you and I aren't so different. -smirk- And I mean that in a good way.