(no subject)

I really shouldn't care if the Event organizer for this weekend thinks I'm a 'flaky jackass'.
I really shouldn't worry that, somehow, this is going to surface later on in my life and bite me.
I really shouldn't fear that pulling out on my word, even in this mostly-justifiable circumstance (if arguably unjustifiable timing) makes me a worse person for it.

But I do. And I will. And it's going to bother me for the next few days until it all blows over and I can forget about it.
I really don't like going back on my word.

(no subject)

Feeling kinda down...
See, Graduation's coming up, and so my parents are getting this whole party thing together, and I'm thinking of people to invite; it'd be a great opportunity to see old friends I haven't seen in a long, long while.

But due to bad timing and poor planning on my part, I don't think anyone will show. Most people will still be in school, and it's less than a month away and invitations haven't gone out, and... I talked to Anastasiya tonight, and she basically said she wasn't interested in going. Which, you know, kind of hurts, as she's been one of the more important people in my life these past four years, and I think it mostly has to do with Zach -- that is, he's going to be in town, so she doesn't want to be.

Whatever... things will go as they'll go...