A step backwards

[jackofallgeeks]

Current Mood: Suddenly and not-quite inexplicably very lonely.

I hate feeling this way. I hate feeling unwanted and useless.
I can't stand thinking that no one out there knows me enough to tell when I'm unhappy without me making some cry for help.
I hate the fact that I can't cry.
I hate having nothing intelligent to say.
I hate making these posts.
I hate feeling so vulnerable, I hate feeling like someone somewhere is going to feel sorry for me.
I want affection, I want someone to care. I don't want pity.
I don't even really want much of anything more than someone to talk to.
I hate feeling like no one wants to listen.

I should just go.

---

Thank you both greatly, Rachel and Leslie. You have pulled me from the pit, and shown me that I'm neither alone nor worthless. These sour moods come out of nowhere -- I just need a friend now and again.

Comments

[surichan.livejournal.com]

Call in the person you know there at school who gives the best hugs, and have them give you a Leslie Hug by proxy.

Hey you...

[serenabuny.livejournal.com]

Why haven't you called me then?!? I demand that you call me when you feel like this(glares). Whether I'm busy or not. I might be really busy, but that doesn't mean I won't take the time to talk with you when you're upset and lonely. If you don't call me next time this happens I promise I will punch you in the gut (stalks off muttering)...

[surichan.livejournal.com]

You're welcome. ::hugs and sends an instruction manual on hugging to all the girls at Catholic U.::