(no subject)

[jackofallgeeks]

Why can't things be fucking simple, just once?
Well, in my head they aren't simple, and that's what matters.
The reality of the situation is probably much less dire than I think.

I love Claire. I wish I was still with her. I'd do anything to make it work with us.
But - I don't know it there IS anything I can do.
What if she really doesn't want me? For whatever reason.
What if it would mean changing who I am? i don't think I can do that.
I can't even say I love her, because I'm afraid she doesn't want to hear it.
I'm always afraid people don't want my affection.
And if I have such trouble telling people GOOD things, imagine how hard it is for me to tell someone something bad.
Heh, and you all thought I was so apt to confromtations.

Lord, I miss her...

Comments

[surichan.livejournal.com]

I was under the impression that, in the case above, you were using "confrontation" to mean something like a hostile face-to-face clash. Although really it can range in meaning from that to something as light as a discord between opposing ideas or opinions. Was I wrong about the way you were using it?

To explain (and you'll have to bear with my above thoughts on your intended meaning, I'm afraid, even if they're inaccurate) what I mean by "never thought you were particularly good at confrontation", you'll have to remember that I've never seen you in a confrontation, but everything I've ever gathered from you and what you've told me says you don't like them. I think people are, on the whole, uncomfortable and therefore, probably not very good at things they don't like. On the other hand, I have seen you at minor debates, and I have developed the opinion that you are rather good at them. I hope that made some sense.

Even if you have been down that road before, you love her, and therefore, it is worth it to try again. When she tells you to leave off, then leave off, otherwise, there's always hope (Hell, sometimes even after they say "leave off" they don't always really mean it...). Maybe I'm just a hopeful romantic, though...