Bad Idea

[jackofallgeeks]

I need someone (everyone?) to remind me why trying to get back in touch with
Suzannah would be a Bad Idea (tm).

Comments

[shibakiei.livejournal.com]

exes are exes for a reason.

(I am only assuming she is an ex, if not, this is hilarity)

[readiness.livejournal.com]

what this smart person said.

Somethings you want to do but really shouldn't. This I think is one of them

[jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com]

Hilarity?

After posting this it occurred to me that a good number of you may not know the story; it happened about three years ago now, before I knew you or Erin (readiness). I guess I should maybe recount the story for you guys in another post...

Strictly speaking she's not an ex, because we never really dated. Which is kinda the crux of the whole thing.

[shibakiei.livejournal.com]

It would be hilarity, because it would be me speaking with no knowledge of the situation, and screwing up horribly.

As for not being an ex, did it end poorly? Because that is the metric I was going for. Things that end poorly should stay in the past. Opening old wounds rarely helps anyone.

[metis2be.livejournal.com]

She's a ho-bag, what more reason would you need?

Seriously, she cut you off without having enough respect for you to even give you a reason, do you really walk to talk to that kind of girl again?

If that's not reason enough, let me know, I can be meaner.

[jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com]

If that's not reason enough, let me know, I can be meaner.

Don't, you'll just make me angry.

[metis2be.livejournal.com]

I have a feeling I already have made you angry.

I just don't want to see you get hurt. I stood by and read all the angsty posts you made about her and I saw how much pain she caused you before, and I don't want to see you go through that again because I really care about you. You have a habit of caring for people quickly and because of that when you get dealt a shit hand you take it harder than some people. With the way she left things I can't imagine it would go well and you'd be just as hurt as you were back then and I just don't think it's for the best. I know I'm not your closest friend and that my opinion isn't the most important one, but I hope you'll take some of this into consideration when you make your decision.

And that was what I was going to say before, I was just going to sound angrier when I said it.

[laurelei28.livejournal.com]

simply for the fact that you think its a bad idea- its a bad idea. From what i recall it was something that hurt you greatly - for a really *long* time - and frankly - if she's not banging down your door- let her go. You deserve better than to be treated like that.

[jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com]

First, you unfairly minimize your importance to me. Quite a few of my friends do this. Please don't. you're a good friend and I take your opinion into consideration at least as much as anyone else's.

Second, you didn't make me angry just... tread on an old wound. I don't like people being mean to each other. I don't like people saying mean things about people they don't know. I don't like people saying mean things to people I care about -- and mistreated or no, Suzannah was a friend of mine and I do still care for her.

And yeah, you're right, I did get hurt a lot, and you're more than right for not wanting me to get hurt again. The trouble is that almost 100% of what you know about her is from things I said when trying to deal with that pain. You weren't there to see me when we were together and I was happy. Someone who only read my posts dealing with my breakup with Claire would get a similar impression, but that ignores all the really great things about Claire (let alone that ours was an amiable break-up; I just hurt easily, like you said).

Personally, I'd rather act and be hurt than not-act and always wonder. Life is pain; anyone who says otherwise is selling something.

[starlight1184.livejournal.com]

It's simple dear -
She asked you not to.

I'm happy to expand on the point, but I'm not sure it's necessary.

[thismortalquill.livejournal.com]

I might get lambasted here, but the bits that I do know about you (the rather act than not-act part) leaves me endorsing an attempt to contact her. I was around for the after-Claire madness, here through the Suzannah saga, and for various other chats and laments.

From my worldly experience, even with the way things were severed, time does change a lot of things.

I am not encouraging you to get your hopes up, but there is no harm in dropping a hello in order to satisfy your curiosity. Granted, rejection will open up a lot of old wounds, but if it were me, the chance that I'd possibly get a *friend* back would be worth a try.

One try.

And then grieve and move on.

[bsgnome.livejournal.com]

I'm going to have to echo Rachel: She asked you not to.

If I recall properly, she was pretty clear on that point.

It may seem like a "stupid" reason, but it's really not; it would be one thing to randomly run into her on the street, but to actively seek her out ... I'm inclined to say that it'd be better to just forget about her.

Sorry my reply isn't all sunshine and roses, and sorry that I can't logically explain why not contacting her is the best course of action. It's just that there's this sense in the back of my mind that it would only be a wate of everyone's time (and emotional fortitude).