And I Do Not Want This

[jackofallgeeks]

You asked for a break, and I've granted you it.

I fear I behaved poorly, and for that I'm sorry.

I think you have treated me unkindly.

I honored your request, but it hurts, and I can't do it anymore.

You said you weren't angry with me and you didn't hate me.

I just want to try over again.

Half the people I've talked to tell me to talk to her as soon as I can, because it's just postponing the inevitable otherwise.
Half the people I've talked to tell me to hold off a little bit, give her the space she asked for, and it'll work out the best in the end.
I decided a while ago, before talking to anyone, that I'd give her the semester, and settle this in the summer after classes have ended. And it is and has been against my nature to change my will once it has been set. I won't leave for California without knowing where she and I stand, and I'd like to have a chance to rebuild our relationship over the remaining months I'm here.

I don't want to be angry or sad when I talk to her, either. I don't want to plead or accuse. I want to be calm, collected, state the facts, and get things mended.

Sorry if I disappoint you, Emily. I am dealing with it, and I will resolve it, one way or another. I hope for one way, but it'll be resolved regardless.

The best thing that happened today was that it rained. I wish I'd gotten out into it more, and it's just soothing, but it was still nice.

The second best thing that happened today was Brittany told me that she, Alyce, and Becky are going to be here in DC on Saturday, and that I should go out and see them, which I have every intention of doing. Then our phones had a falling out and stopped speaking to each other.

Comments

[bluegrave.livejournal.com]

I hate to say that I don’t quite understand the situation as it stands, only a vague ghosting of it, and for that I am sorry as I haven’t spoken to you much at all.
For the second, I’m very happy that Brittany called you and that we’ll be able to see you when we’re down. It makes me look forward to Saturday even more knowing that you’re going to be there too. ^^

[dikaiosunh.livejournal.com]

I also don't know the whole sitch, but if you're taking unsolicited advice... 99% of the time, however bad letting things rest is, picking at them with someone who has already said s/he need space/time makes them worse.

[shibatim.livejournal.com]

Amazingly enough...I have nothing say here...I know nether how I would take care of such a situation nor how I am...Yeah, I'm more or less going through the same thing...I don't know, life is confuzeing...I need my laptop...

What?

[emily91183.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure what is going on ... I feel like I missed a lot, even in only a few short days. You know me ... unavailable all weekend ... but I've got some free time coming up, so let me know if you ever want to talk. I really don't like these entries where you seem miserable.