Entry tags:
A Return To Times Past
I'd like to turn the clock back a couple days and record things which I feared to record then. I still fear to post them, for many inestimable reasons, but I fear even more that I'll forget them, and that would be a tragedy, even aside from my fears of how this may be recieved.
Friday night was a wonderful night. The dance was very nice, but even with that, it was but a pit stop in the evening. The true joy, I believe, was the car trips. I've always enjoyed car rides, always, and this one was very nice indeed. Me and a girl, driving along the highway together at night - really, it was amazing. Maybe I'm weird for it, but I like that.
I told you that me and Claire had told eachother we were mutually unsure of our feelings. I told you, for the most part, my side of the story, but not much of what she said. I never pay attention to the words that come out of my mouth, and as such, it's what SHE said that I want to remember. And what good is a journal if you can't record your memories?
You see, earlier I'd asked Claire whay she liked "So Complicated" by Carolyn Dawn Johnson (the song she sugested when I explained that I wanted to tell Emily everything but feared to tell her anything), and she'd refused to answer. She dodged the question as nimble as an aged, arthritic cat with three paws tied, and accused me of having a backbone when I pushed for an answer. Still, I didn't recieve one.
When I told her that I wasn't sure, as much as I liked being with her, how I felt about her - that's when the answer came. She said THAT'S why she liked the song. It took me a moment to puzzle through what she meant - that is, I'm the reason she liked that song. It struck me speachless, though as always, even speachless I had something to say.
I guess about then I just started talking, and I really don't know about what. I'm not sure I knew at the time. But Claire just kinda sat there and smiled at me. When I finally laughed and asked her why she was smiling like that, she said she was just thinking about how wonderful I was. O.O I must say, it was overwhelming. Here I am, with a pretty girl who I love spending time with, and she's telling me she feels the same about me as I do about her (whatever that may mean in our situation). It's nearly unimaginable to me - I can barely fathom the concept.
We also both agreed that we're happier since meeting eachother, though I should suppose that's obvious. I think it's likely we were both rather lonely, and our relationship being such as it is, we're less so. She said that before meeting me she was rather down - I don't know how I was, but I know that I feel rather more alive, now, if that makes sense.
Even given all this, there are reasons why my situation as such is not made any easier by this. No more dificult, though. Just...happier. But at that point I draw the line, and we come to reasons which I need not record - I won't forget these anytime soon.
And, for fear of darkening my mood, I finish here.
Friday night was a wonderful night. The dance was very nice, but even with that, it was but a pit stop in the evening. The true joy, I believe, was the car trips. I've always enjoyed car rides, always, and this one was very nice indeed. Me and a girl, driving along the highway together at night - really, it was amazing. Maybe I'm weird for it, but I like that.
I told you that me and Claire had told eachother we were mutually unsure of our feelings. I told you, for the most part, my side of the story, but not much of what she said. I never pay attention to the words that come out of my mouth, and as such, it's what SHE said that I want to remember. And what good is a journal if you can't record your memories?
You see, earlier I'd asked Claire whay she liked "So Complicated" by Carolyn Dawn Johnson (the song she sugested when I explained that I wanted to tell Emily everything but feared to tell her anything), and she'd refused to answer. She dodged the question as nimble as an aged, arthritic cat with three paws tied, and accused me of having a backbone when I pushed for an answer. Still, I didn't recieve one.
When I told her that I wasn't sure, as much as I liked being with her, how I felt about her - that's when the answer came. She said THAT'S why she liked the song. It took me a moment to puzzle through what she meant - that is, I'm the reason she liked that song. It struck me speachless, though as always, even speachless I had something to say.
I guess about then I just started talking, and I really don't know about what. I'm not sure I knew at the time. But Claire just kinda sat there and smiled at me. When I finally laughed and asked her why she was smiling like that, she said she was just thinking about how wonderful I was. O.O I must say, it was overwhelming. Here I am, with a pretty girl who I love spending time with, and she's telling me she feels the same about me as I do about her (whatever that may mean in our situation). It's nearly unimaginable to me - I can barely fathom the concept.
We also both agreed that we're happier since meeting eachother, though I should suppose that's obvious. I think it's likely we were both rather lonely, and our relationship being such as it is, we're less so. She said that before meeting me she was rather down - I don't know how I was, but I know that I feel rather more alive, now, if that makes sense.
Even given all this, there are reasons why my situation as such is not made any easier by this. No more dificult, though. Just...happier. But at that point I draw the line, and we come to reasons which I need not record - I won't forget these anytime soon.
And, for fear of darkening my mood, I finish here.