When You Assume

[jackofallgeeks]

You Make An Ass Out Of You And Me

Whether or not it comes as a shock to any of you, I find it excruciatingly difficult to express myself, especially in as far as my feelings are concerned. I'd admit, I LIKE to, as I've since found that I take great pains to try and be understood. It can be quite frustrating at times, especially when there's no confirmation that anyone's listening.

I understand how busy people are, but I don't like feeling as though I'm being ignored. Perhaps a bit because of pride, but also because it takes so much effort for me to come out and SAY things. Case in point, ask Rachel about that 3am conversation we had so many years ago about Emily. I'm not being figurative when I say it hurts.

Maybe you'll remember (mabe you won't) that I'd sent a letter to Ms. Croft, likely in some half-crazed attempt to be understood. That was near the beginning of this journal, and, though I've spoken in passing with both sisters, I still haven't recieved any word from her either way on that damnable letter. It torments me to this day.

One of the things I struggle the hardest with is assumption. Assumption of anything, really. Unless you come out and ask point-blank (and get a straight answer, mind you) how can you be sure how another person percieves a given situation? I like to be optomistic and assume the best, but... well, if it's not as one assumes, it causes problems. And if one assumes the worst and it's not... you can't win. If you question, they think you doubt, and the two aren't the same thing...

I'm not making any sense... I just don't like... I can't stand a monologue. I need interaction.
I don't like feeling ignored.

Comments

[surichan.livejournal.com]

I know you've been feeling incredibly misunderstood of late...but might I ask what brought this particular entry on?

[jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com]

It's so much easier to say things than to explain where they came from...

[surichan.livejournal.com]

...

Would you like to talk about it online?

[otakulk.livejournal.com]

If you have trouble conveying your thoughts and feelings, but hate assumption, you put yourself ina tough position. Nobody will know how you feel unless you come out and say it, and you can't just expect people to know how you are feeling, because then you want them to assume...

::head spins::

You just gotta do what you feel man, if she didn't write back, forget about it. Be proud that you wrote in the first place. Let it go. If you think someone is getting what you mean, keep trying until they do.

Don't think that your assumptions are always wrong, but don't think that they are right either. When you get in a situation like that, its totally a gamble. You are betting your instinks against comfort. The problem is you have to decide if you want to wager. Do you want to take a chance in hope of something good? Or do you want to settle for what you have? Don't always go for the safety. Don't be the guy who always thinks about the way things coulda been. Keeping things confortable are good, it gives us stability and friendship. But you can't always play it safe, you can't forget to live.

Life is about Living.

[jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com]

Ha, you misunderstand -- I expect people to assume, to an extent, and I mind not, so long as they approach me with it. I like communication.

You make alot of sense after that though. I'm pretty much worked through the whole Emily thing. She's a really nice girl, and then this... -shrugs- I don't get it, but I suppose I don't have to.

As for the gamble -- I think you shine when reminding people that, heh, 'You're alive, live a little!' Sometimes 'safe' is good enough, but life is all about taking chances, pushing the envelope, and seeing where the pieces fall. I know enough that I don't want to be the guy asking 'what coulda been,' but regardless of the moves you make there's always the opportunity to ask that question. -shrugs- I like my life right now, not to say I won't have things change, but I'm a happy guy. And a lucky one to have friends like you, Claire, Leslie, Rachel, and the rest.

But enough of that. I need food. ^_^

[surichan.livejournal.com]

I like my life right now, not to say I won't have things change, but I'm a happy guy. And a lucky one to have friends like you, Claire, Leslie, Rachel, and the rest.

The fact that you can recognize that is good. Life is never quite as bad as it appears to us in our darkest hours. ::claps you on the back:: There's hope for you yet, young man!

[jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com]

^_^;; Yes, well, I am quite starved for attention. But still, if I can get attention from my friends, I should do OK. And I may well at that. Just have to make sure we stay in good contact, yes.