Re: Fat

[jackofallgeeks]

So, I'm starting to get angry about the response to my fat post the other day. If I said (and I have) that I don't like stupid people, no one thinks, hey, I'm stupid! No one gives me flack because they scored poorly on the SATs and can't do math in their heads, let alone follow an argument on metaphysics. But I mention something less significant and more superficial, the fact that some people I knew have put on so much weight as to be barely recognizable, and I get slapped around by my friends who suddenly don't know me, and can't believe I'd be so superficial. I'm not talking about, My God, these girls must've put on, like, 20 pounds!. I mean that they've doubled or more what they once weighed, or it appears so as I don't know what they're up to now. If a girl weighs 120, puts on fifty pounds and weighs 170, yeah, she put on weight. But there's a significant difference between that and a girl who was 120 now weighing 240. No, Laurel, I don't think you're fat. I've seen pictures of you -- hell, VIDEOS of you -- in highschool. Don't imagine that I wouldn't be your friend now if I'd known how much weight you put on. No Jenny, I don't think your fat. Nor you, Erin. Nor Anastasiya, or Amber, or anyone else: if you want me to go down the list and name all my friends I will.

What really pisses me off, though, is the mere fact that this is even a big deal. No one would argue that putting on 80 pounds is less-than-healthy. *I* have put on weight, and wouldn't mind losing some. But if you COMMENT on weight gain, you've crossed the line. And what REALLY pisses me off is that the comments I've gotten, from the girls who have said it, is indicative of the whole fucked-up body image that our society imposes on girls. "I don't match the ideal, so he must be talking about me (or people like me)." And that any of you would question years of friendship based on an offhand remark about people gaining a gross amount of weight...!

I have to go to work.

Comments

[jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com]

You are smart and pretty, and even if you aren't the exact size or shape you'd like to be, I tend not to surround myself with people I find distasteful. If nothing else good comes of it, at least my tendency to be judgmental says good things about you (in that I choose to be around you and call you my friend).

I'm personally a little ashamed of the weight I carry -- not a lot, as I think I'm generally the right size and shape, but I tend not to take great care of my myself and my weight is something that's indicative of that. I'm trying (however unsuccessfully) to alter my lifestyle to account for this, but therein lies my point: how do you get so far gone?

Like Erin said, there's medication and illness and disorders -- but, generally speaking, medication and illness are transient and temporary, and a disorder is a diagnosis, not an excuse. A tendency toward a certain behavior doesn't make that behavior any more acceptable -- that's why it's called a disorder. And while, no, those aren't easy things to fix...

Anyways...

But what's MORE, where do your 'issues' stem from? The idea that you aren't shaped right, the idea that you don't fir some ideal mold, and that that makes you a bad person or something. And THAT irritates me because you buy into it. And, and...!

Anyways...

[metis2be.livejournal.com]

I'm going to play the disorder card on that last one. I don't feel like getting into details on livejournal, but I've come to terms with the fact that I'm never going to be all right and I've learned to cope, but it doesn't make it any easier. I don't have a mold I feel the need to fit into and I'm more comfortable with myself than previous comments would imply. However, when I have issues with myself it's not because of what I feel I should be, it's feeling like what I am is wrong, regardless of knowing that I'm just what I should be to make a good Jenny.

If you want any sort of elaboration then hit me up on the phone, or possibly IM. Also, next week would happen to be my spring break so I have rather large chunks of time available. I don't know my schedule (other than having obligations on thursday and friday), but I'm more than willing to try to work my very flexible work schedule around when you're free.