John Noble (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
jackofallgeeks) wrote2002-06-22 04:16 pm
jackofallgeeks) wrote2002-06-22 04:16 pm
(no subject)
Update on the last post.
When we left, there was some lady who had caused considerable troubles within her marriage, family, and friends - simply by revealing to her husband attraction to another man.
Tasha made the point that she was right because if she was attracted to the guy, it would be wrong NOT to tell her husband. However, this seems selfish to me in that, if it wasn't an issue for them, she shouldn't have brought it up. That is - bringing it up MAKES it an issue, doesn't it?
Claire made the point of the fact we're all human, which I won't contest. We are subject to feelings and emotions, and I don't deny that said woman was feeling them. However, I hold that marriages are binding, regardless of human failings. They shouldn't be entered into lightly. In anycase, that's not the issue here.
Notably, Claire brought up the disputed issue of a Subjective Worldview and an Objective Worldview. As I am unprepared to enter into such an epic struggle (and the fact that she's my girlfriend), I choose to subtly glace over the topic....
Rachel, I think, made the best point, and she'll be amazed that I agree almost entirely with her. In particular, I think she says it all when she says:
"Where was I? Oh yes. Tact. I think that tact is something that I'm not very good at, and need to learn. But basically, tact would be knowing when to open your mouth and when to keep it shut. In this situation, the wife's, I think it is hard for any of us to say exactly what she should have or should not have done, as we don't really know the whole story. The thing I would like to know is did she tell her husband because she simply wanted to let him know, or did she tell her husband because she felt that this attraction she was feeling to another man was causing problems in the marriage. If it WAS causing problems, then I think it was something that needed to be broached. But if it wasn't, I think I'm with Andrew. We may not be superhuman (I wholeheartedly agree that we're not), but if it is simply something she feels, that isn't causing outward problems or affecting the husband, maybe it is best that she deal with it on her own, and really figure out what she feels before she brings it into someone else's life. It's a tough question... I don't claim to have an answer... she's human. She may have made a mistake. But on the other hand... maybe she felt she had a duty to her husband to tell him. Who knows? I sure don't."
Anyways, the way I see it? It wasn't an immediate concern, and revealing it could only conceivably cause problems. Therefore, she was wrong in offering it. As I said, if asked, the truth should be told. But if it's not nessisary, I think somethings are best unsaid.
Any thoughts?
When we left, there was some lady who had caused considerable troubles within her marriage, family, and friends - simply by revealing to her husband attraction to another man.
Tasha made the point that she was right because if she was attracted to the guy, it would be wrong NOT to tell her husband. However, this seems selfish to me in that, if it wasn't an issue for them, she shouldn't have brought it up. That is - bringing it up MAKES it an issue, doesn't it?
Claire made the point of the fact we're all human, which I won't contest. We are subject to feelings and emotions, and I don't deny that said woman was feeling them. However, I hold that marriages are binding, regardless of human failings. They shouldn't be entered into lightly. In anycase, that's not the issue here.
Notably, Claire brought up the disputed issue of a Subjective Worldview and an Objective Worldview. As I am unprepared to enter into such an epic struggle (and the fact that she's my girlfriend), I choose to subtly glace over the topic....
Rachel, I think, made the best point, and she'll be amazed that I agree almost entirely with her. In particular, I think she says it all when she says:
"Where was I? Oh yes. Tact. I think that tact is something that I'm not very good at, and need to learn. But basically, tact would be knowing when to open your mouth and when to keep it shut. In this situation, the wife's, I think it is hard for any of us to say exactly what she should have or should not have done, as we don't really know the whole story. The thing I would like to know is did she tell her husband because she simply wanted to let him know, or did she tell her husband because she felt that this attraction she was feeling to another man was causing problems in the marriage. If it WAS causing problems, then I think it was something that needed to be broached. But if it wasn't, I think I'm with Andrew. We may not be superhuman (I wholeheartedly agree that we're not), but if it is simply something she feels, that isn't causing outward problems or affecting the husband, maybe it is best that she deal with it on her own, and really figure out what she feels before she brings it into someone else's life. It's a tough question... I don't claim to have an answer... she's human. She may have made a mistake. But on the other hand... maybe she felt she had a duty to her husband to tell him. Who knows? I sure don't."
Anyways, the way I see it? It wasn't an immediate concern, and revealing it could only conceivably cause problems. Therefore, she was wrong in offering it. As I said, if asked, the truth should be told. But if it's not nessisary, I think somethings are best unsaid.
Any thoughts?
What I'm really trying to say here...