jackofallgeeks | (no subject)

Update on the last post.

When we left, there was some lady who had caused considerable troubles within her marriage, family, and friends - simply by revealing to her husband attraction to another man.

Tasha made the point that she was right because if she was attracted to the guy, it would be wrong NOT to tell her husband. However, this seems selfish to me in that, if it wasn't an issue for them, she shouldn't have brought it up. That is - bringing it up MAKES it an issue, doesn't it?

Claire made the point of the fact we're all human, which I won't contest. We are subject to feelings and emotions, and I don't deny that said woman was feeling them. However, I hold that marriages are binding, regardless of human failings. They shouldn't be entered into lightly. In anycase, that's not the issue here.
Notably, Claire brought up the disputed issue of a Subjective Worldview and an Objective Worldview. As I am unprepared to enter into such an epic struggle (and the fact that she's my girlfriend), I choose to subtly glace over the topic....

Rachel, I think, made the best point, and she'll be amazed that I agree almost entirely with her. In particular, I think she says it all when she says:

"Where was I? Oh yes. Tact. I think that tact is something that I'm not very good at, and need to learn. But basically, tact would be knowing when to open your mouth and when to keep it shut. In this situation, the wife's, I think it is hard for any of us to say exactly what she should have or should not have done, as we don't really know the whole story. The thing I would like to know is did she tell her husband because she simply wanted to let him know, or did she tell her husband because she felt that this attraction she was feeling to another man was causing problems in the marriage. If it WAS causing problems, then I think it was something that needed to be broached. But if it wasn't, I think I'm with Andrew. We may not be superhuman (I wholeheartedly agree that we're not), but if it is simply something she feels, that isn't causing outward problems or affecting the husband, maybe it is best that she deal with it on her own, and really figure out what she feels before she brings it into someone else's life. It's a tough question... I don't claim to have an answer... she's human. She may have made a mistake. But on the other hand... maybe she felt she had a duty to her husband to tell him. Who knows? I sure don't."

Anyways, the way I see it? It wasn't an immediate concern, and revealing it could only conceivably cause problems. Therefore, she was wrong in offering it. As I said, if asked, the truth should be told. But if it's not nessisary, I think somethings are best unsaid.

Any thoughts?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh yeah - and I got a hair-cut. Whee. I feel so much better now.
Maybe I'll go shave...

we agree! :-)

I'm flattered you liked my comment. But yeah, I'm not totally shocked that you agree with me, seeing as how I agreed with you... but yeah. Cool.

What kind of hair cut? Just your normal style, only shorter?

yups, just my usual haircut, sae as always, but shorter now. I always feel better with short hsir. I don't like it when my hair grows out...

I needa shave, though....

There goes that wrong and right thing again. Don't ever say it's wrong, say you think it's wrong. I think it's wrong of us to make judgement on her when none of us know the full situation nor the people involved. And no you can't just glaze over truth handsome because ultimately that's what this is about ^^. Nice try though. Anyway I don't feel like getting myself in a tizzy tonight so I'll add a note that Ann Landers just died today(heard it on the news) and my sympathies to her family, friends, and fans...

As far as truth goes, and the wrong or right of the situation, I think it's like all our troubles, and just a matter of miscommunication. You're right that I can't say one way or another that this particular woman was right or wrong, because I don't know the particular case, the people, or the circumstances. The problem is, I'm very Platonic in my philosophy, and I tend to think in general terms. Yes, this woman may have had reason enough, but my point was that the general case of a woman offering information that only hurts an otherwise steady relationship - I think that is wrong. Often times, real life isn't as simple as the world of generalities that floats around in my head, and I understand that. It doesn't mean i can't believe in the ideals, and it doesn't mean that in essence a given thing is definately right or wrong. Did that make any sense?

How do you know that she knew it would hurt him? You can't be Platonic when it comes to the human mind. It doesn't hold. But yes I understand you ^^...

*shakes head* No, no, no, that's not what I said. I never said, nessisarily, that this particular woman was wrong. I conceeded that point. What I DID say was that, in essence, from what we know, it's a bad situation. Platonic simply means not concentrating on the specifics, but merely the higher ideas and such behind things. I highly suggest you take some Philosophy courses in College, you may find them enlightening.

I would also just like to note - how could she NOT know it would hurt him. What would she expect from him? They're married, and then one day she just comes up to him and says she's attracted to their mutual friend? I'll admit extrenuation circumstances may clear it up, but that's not the point.

I didn't say it wasn't a bad situation, we all know it is. That was established long ago. So what exactly is your point? And yes I know what Platonic means. And as to how would she know it wouldn't hurt him? Maybe their lines of communication aren't all the way open. He could very well be taking her love and devotion for granted and think she might actually leave him. Maybe he doesn't trust her. There are too many possiblities to look at this in a Platonic light. She told him with the best of intentions...

Is that I don't agree with Platonic thinking for this case. For most cases. I understand the purpose, but I think that that kind of thinking limits arguementation. I feel that to fully analyze a situation you must look at the specifics. I think that we all agree here that in the general case you looked at she was probably wrong. It made a situation that wasn't needed and was harmful. All I'm trying to do is to expand that scenario for something a little more indepth. I'd like to see what you'd say if this and this and this were the case. That's all I'm really trying to do...

I agree with the tact ^^...

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Declare a holiday...

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(Shakes head)...

Back up - reverse that.

Re: Back up - reverse that.

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Well I agree...

What I'm really trying to say here...

Oh yeah!...