John Noble (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
jackofallgeeks) wrote2007-02-21 12:01 am
jackofallgeeks) wrote2007-02-21 12:01 am
Happy Lent
The subject is a tribute to an odd thing a well-meaning friend of mine said earlier. Lent isn't really known to be a 'joyous' time. Not as far as I've ever understood it, at least.
My almost-utter lack of knowledge of Jewish faith and customs notwithstanding, I think it's probably pretty close to Yom Kippur, at least as far as the whole 'atonement' thing goes. It's a time when we Christians remember the ministry of Jesus, with a particular emphasis on his impending passion and death. And, with that in mind, we reflect (or rather, we ought to reflect) on ourselves and our short-comings. And, hopefully, make efforts to improve ourselves.
A lot of people do little things, like give up candy or soda, or not-so-little things, like abstain from meet for the full duration of Lent. For the best of them, it's an actual exercise in self-denial. For others, it's little more than a token gesture. As much as I think I could really use some training in self-denial, though, those things never really 'did' it for me. Perhaps because I never kept up with them, but that's mostly speculation; I can't remember if I ever did or didn't keep up my Lenten sacrifice.
There are significant points about myself and my behaviors that I don't like. Bits that keep me from being the man I would like to be, the man I ought to be. For me, Lent had traditionally been a time to take a look at the bits of myself I don't like thinking about and trying to improve myself where I know I'm failing. And, traditionally, I fail more often than not. I'm not very good at changing myself or, at least, my inner demons have thus far been equal to whatever effort I could muster.
This year, I've determined to wrestle with a personal demon who has plagued me pretty consistently for most of the last 10 to 15 years. That's a long time for a guy just shy of 24 years. And Ash Wednesday, the start of Lent, has only just begun and I feel I'm out-matched.
The reason I bring all this up is to ask for help. I know a lot of you aren't Christian, and I imagine a few out there think Catholicism is a quaint self-deception at best. That's fine, whatever. But whether you believe in Jesus, God, karma -- any spiritual reality at all -- I'd just ask that you keep me in your prayers, or thoughts, or whatever. I don't know that I'm strong enough to pull off what I'm attempting, and any help at all would be appreciated.
And with that I'm going to bed. For reasons I believe are wholly unrelated to any of this, I haven't been sleeping well lately. Not since coming back here to California, more or less.
My almost-utter lack of knowledge of Jewish faith and customs notwithstanding, I think it's probably pretty close to Yom Kippur, at least as far as the whole 'atonement' thing goes. It's a time when we Christians remember the ministry of Jesus, with a particular emphasis on his impending passion and death. And, with that in mind, we reflect (or rather, we ought to reflect) on ourselves and our short-comings. And, hopefully, make efforts to improve ourselves.
A lot of people do little things, like give up candy or soda, or not-so-little things, like abstain from meet for the full duration of Lent. For the best of them, it's an actual exercise in self-denial. For others, it's little more than a token gesture. As much as I think I could really use some training in self-denial, though, those things never really 'did' it for me. Perhaps because I never kept up with them, but that's mostly speculation; I can't remember if I ever did or didn't keep up my Lenten sacrifice.
There are significant points about myself and my behaviors that I don't like. Bits that keep me from being the man I would like to be, the man I ought to be. For me, Lent had traditionally been a time to take a look at the bits of myself I don't like thinking about and trying to improve myself where I know I'm failing. And, traditionally, I fail more often than not. I'm not very good at changing myself or, at least, my inner demons have thus far been equal to whatever effort I could muster.
This year, I've determined to wrestle with a personal demon who has plagued me pretty consistently for most of the last 10 to 15 years. That's a long time for a guy just shy of 24 years. And Ash Wednesday, the start of Lent, has only just begun and I feel I'm out-matched.
The reason I bring all this up is to ask for help. I know a lot of you aren't Christian, and I imagine a few out there think Catholicism is a quaint self-deception at best. That's fine, whatever. But whether you believe in Jesus, God, karma -- any spiritual reality at all -- I'd just ask that you keep me in your prayers, or thoughts, or whatever. I don't know that I'm strong enough to pull off what I'm attempting, and any help at all would be appreciated.
And with that I'm going to bed. For reasons I believe are wholly unrelated to any of this, I haven't been sleeping well lately. Not since coming back here to California, more or less.
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