So, if you're not doing anything, and I'm not doing anything, and you're not doing anything...

[jackofallgeeks]

Awww, that was almost cute. Key word is almost.

Earlier this evening, I was playing City of Heroes with Leslie, but my connection kept dying. Yay for the school network. When I finally got back on, she was nowhere to be seen, so I went about my business. Then, one of my in-game friends comes on, and we get to chatting, and he starts telling me about this 'friend' of his.

A little background: One of my characters on City of Heroes is Jessica, a female superhero. Specifically, the character I was playing tonight was Jessica. At some point while talking with this in-game friend, against my better judgment, I let more of the Real World than usual bleed through, and he found that I was a 20-something Catholic, about ready to graduate from college.

So, he tells me how he has this friend over on the Eastcoast (3,000 miles away, he noted) who's a really nice guy, if a bit over-weight, and he'd be upset if my in-game friend didn't ask someone like me if they might consider him for a date. 'Someone like me' reasonably being assumed to be a 20-something Catholic girl, since I was playing Jessica, and I like to run in-character.

This puts me in an odd sort of spot, and so I tell him I'm actually in the middle of a budding relationship (not a lie), though I *was* flattered and would keep it in mind (also not a lie, though he was to assume a different sort of 'keep it in mind' than I meant -- I wasn't going to consider it, obviously, just remember it). I *should* have left it at that, but I didn't really feel comfortable leaving it sit like that (I don't like being deceitful), and so I confessed that while Jessica was a girl, the Player behind her wasn't. And so he began to trip all over himself, saying how it didn't matter if I was a guy, or a girl, or whatever, he liked me as a person, and still wanted to play together. He went on to slip further and actually admit (as we all might have guessed) that there was no 'friend', and that he himself was the 30-something guy looking for a girl. I *really* should have left it with Jessica being 'unavailable', because the more the Real World bled into the game, and our in-game relationship, the less I enjoyed it. I go in there to wear a mask and play a character, to forget about Me for a bit and really become the Hero. I don't play a game so much as enter an Other World, and the bleeding just soured it for me.

So, yes, I've now officially been hit on my an over-weight 30-something. I kind of feel greasy from the experience (I mean, really, who would try to Find Someone through a video game?), and at the same time, I hope my revelation didn't ruin his night or anything. I also hope it doesn't sour our in-game relationship, because when he Role-plays, he's the best I've found in there. But, we'll see...

I can't even imagine how an actual lady might feel if she'd been in my position...

Comments

[mordainlove.livejournal.com]

the girl my girlfriend lives with has tired (key word being tried) dating guys she's met over an online RP game (everquest). while my girlfriend and i met online and you'd think we'd get it... the truth is that we were confused. if you're RPing... it .... yeah. real life shouldn't bleed into it. the girl and i were always joking about the everquest boys. there was a new one all the time. i admit, it was amusing.

but yeah. RP and RL should stay apart. at least when it comes to 'finding someone' ...

annnnnnyway. ^__^;

[mordainlove.livejournal.com]

tried. i meant tried the first time. i really am tired, though, so perhaps that's why i slipped. oops. ::rubs eyes:: yes, i need to go to bed.

[mmeubiquitous.livejournal.com]

Well, at least when it comes to online RP. I've known quite a few relationships that started over tabletopping or LARPing that worked pretty well, and while my husband and I didn't meet over gaming (that was improv comedy), we certainly became friends at least in part because of it.

As for Jessica's 30-something would be suitor, yeah. I'm actually surprised you haven't encountered this before. Being hit on by sketchy guys is kind of an occupational hazard for female gamers and chat room denizens, so the two together is a winning (or not) combination.

[jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com]

Well, I think there's a considerable difference between Tabletopping and Online Gaming -- there's something more social about Tabletopping, or something. Plus, you get, I think, a better look (literally and figuratively) at the people you're gaming with -- online, there's just my Avatar and whatever it is I choose to type in. I have nothing against people who get together because of a common interest, I'm just one of those who feels The Internet is not a good place to go fishing for relationships.

-laughs- As for not bumping into it before, I must admit that I really don't RP all that much. Now, a few times, I've had Jessica (or some other character) hit on in-game, and I'm fine with that -- I just play my character. But this was new.

And I guess it never occured to me, being as I'm really not a female gamer...

You poor poor child... I shall now have to make fun of you

[tzohekiti.livejournal.com]

HAH! You got hit on by 30 year old... oh my my my.... *goes over into a corner to laugh herself silly*

Seriously though, dude... lock the doors.

[xiombarg.livejournal.com]

Welcome to the Internet, my friend. :)

[dikaiosunh.livejournal.com]

I have to make a limited defense of the 30-yr-old fellow, in that I don't see anything *inherently* wrong or sketchy with trying to meet people over the internet. You're right that a lot of the aspects of face-to-face interaction are suppressed, but I figure no more so than in, say, a bar (just different ones).

However, online RP games pose a special problem. On the MUDs where I used to play a lot, no one played in character, so you could fairly confident that people were more or less who they said they were (of course, people could still lie - and *that's* what I find sketchy about your fella, not that he was cruising CoH in itself - but there wasn't the alter-ego factor to deal with). In a game like CoH where it sounds as if a significant portion of folks are playing IC, though, "so, are you really a woman?" seems like a wise and fair first question...

My fave story though, is from a friend of mine who used to play a lot of Diablo (I) online. He *kept* getting hit on and having to explain himself - and would have just chosen a different avatar, except that the *only* avatar for his class (rogue) was female... (which should have made people a lot more cautious about the inference, it seems, than they were).

[jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com]

Well, I don't think there's anything INHERENTLY wrong with looking people up on the internet -- I personally don't understand the appeal, really, and I think using a video game for such purpose is 'unwise', for the reasons you point out. What really bothered me was that my game was impinged upon. I didn't appreciate the Real World bleeding into my play-time, if you will, and that's at the heart of what got to me. I'm going to make a point of not having the Real World bleed into my gaming, in as much as I can possibly control it.

As for the Role-playing on CoH... I'm really not sure. *I* try to play in character, but there have been plenty of number-crunchers I've ran across, s well as the sort of player who seems to have had most of their fore-brain removed. Sorry, I'm bitter; I just got out of a team with the fakiest player I've ever known -- he would just wander off while we were in the middle of a battle.

That's a great story -- I remember Diablo, and where as CoH's big selling point is creating your own Super Avatar, Diablo had set sprites... Ah, what foolish assumptions some make...

[surichan.livejournal.com]

Mmn. o__O Uncomfortable situation much. Sorry you had to go through that...I know that one myself, as a girl who games. Some of those guys don't even have to know what you look like or the sort of person you are...if you're female, they want you. It's an interesting phenomenon.

So that's where you got off to last night! I knew you got booted a few times, but when you stayed off, I got all sad. :( Finished Geth's costume mission, got her a new get-up (though it's not much dissimilar from her previous one), and then I quit, because I just didn't feel like playing without you. When will you be on next?

You know...I've only really RPed in CoH twice, once with Annunciata and another time with Worth. I'd like to do more, but...I dunno, I've never really found it easy to slip into "character", as it were, there. It'd be easy enough if I were just doing the girl-playing-guy crossover, but when it comes to actually emulating someone like, say, Geth's emotional state via the limited texting options in CoH...I dunno. I just don't think it'd work. Not that I wouldn't like to do more of it... c__c

[metis2be.livejournal.com]

Wow, now you know how it feel like to be female!

Kinda sucky, ain't it?