I have one goal in life, and it's very difficult to do alone...

[jackofallgeeks]

I asked Suzannah 'out' in an official way tonight... Put simply, for me and her, dating isn't just for fun or companionship, friends supply that (in theory). Dating is preparation for marriage, ie, it's specifically directed toward the possibility of marriage.

Her answer: Not now.

Which is a perfectly reasonable answer for a practical girl who has a good two years of college before she graduates. She believes she's not yet in a position to consider marriage as a possibility, and I kind of have to agree with her. Even I have been having doubts about my own readiness, and I have but one year left, and I'm quite certain I want to be married... Still...

I would, of course, rather be told I'm too early than that I'm too late. She said that maybe if I were still interested at a later date that there might be a different answer. She also said she didn't want to hurt me, and that she still very much wanted to be friends. I want to be friends, too. I'd like to be more, but to be friends will suffice...

It's been a long time since I pulled 90mph on the highway. It's been a long time as well since I tasted salty tears. Rachel was there for me, as she always is. The pain will fade, and 'Not Now' is not a 'No.'

I'm tired. It's been a very exhaustive day.
I think I'll go to sleep.

Comments

[dikaiosunh.livejournal.com]

Caveat to this comment: trying to argue someone into dating you almost never works. So that's not what I'm trying to say.

But it seems that even your moral perspective on dating needen't invest it with quite so much sturm und drang. Even if you think that 'casual' dating isn't where it's at, the reason that we have dating at all (and don't just skip straight to 'will you marry me?') is that it's hard to know whether or not you can make a life with someone if you don't spend at least a little time getting to know them on an (emotionally, not necessarily physically) intimate level. So it would seem that saying "yes" to a date need not be read as being tantamount to saying "yes" to a marriage proposal.

I guess the point is mostly that, yeah, you like this woman, and it sucks to be rejected... but perhaps you shouldn't regard it (as it sounds like you might be) as a derailment of a major life plan.

Uh... sorry. My consoling skills are limited to trying to put things in a different perspective.

[jackofallgeeks.livejournal.com]

By "casual dating" and "Going out" I mean more of the exclusive Boyfriend-Girlfriend relationships which are quite prevelant in society, mostly as a recreation, though a poorly-though-out one, in my estimation. I do not mean by those terms 'going on a date' such as taking said lady to a dance, or to a play, or to dinner, all of which I have done with Suzannah, and expect to continue doing.

I'm not sure I regard it so much as a major derailment of a major life plan, so much so as *another* set-back, and one gets frustrated with set-backs after a time.

No trouble. I'm sure I sound worse than I really am; I tend to do that.