jackofallgeeks | (no subject)

Current Mood: depressed/frustrated/angry

(no subject)

i want someone to love
the girls who want me, i don't want
the girls i want, don't want me
it's fucking poetic

Thinking that somewhere out there there's a girl wishing she'd meet me... I could cry, it's so beautiful... I'm a sap...

You're right, I do have so much. I have good friends, and a great family, and a lot of potential, and... I really do like who I am, I do. I just don't like where I am, sometimes... I want that best friend, and I want to be able to love her, and guard her, and care for her, and crawl inside her arms...

Don't you give up, either, Mel. You're a great girl, no matter what. Maybe we're each just looking in the wrong places.

Affectionately yours.

Of course there is a girl wishing for you. You do understand that generally, most girls wish for a guy like you. True story. I know. ::nods:: So I am sure that you'll find the right one for you. ^__^

.... and you know, I don't think there ARE places out there for me to look. I think if I just went back to having tiny little crushes on most of my friends, I might be okay. The only problem with that is keeping track of myself... since you know, they are all people that will forever just be distant friends.

I'm more okay with that than I let on, sometimes. The friendship thing, I mean. I'm more apt to have them in my life forever if it's only friendship. Friendship offers the best of all worlds in that I can express such fierce affection and passion and protection towards them.

The problem is actually that of course, that's all it is and will ever be. MY passion, MY protection, MY advice. My watching them go off into their lives and hoping that maybe they might remember me on some random day or moment... with a smile.

Really, that's all I've ever wanted was for someone to believe I was special, for them to remember me as MORE than just this person who was in and out of their lives. I think I struggle with that with past relationships: the worrying that they don't care that I'm not there, while I'm suffering each day from missing them SO MUCH.

I want to be real, I want someone to know everything there is to know about me (all my dark sides, my quirks, my "little things") .... and still be able to look in my eyes and tell me, with no problem at all, that they love me as much as I love them. I just don't know if there IS that person. Or if there were, if I'd be able to see them, you know? To drop my walls and let them see ME - raw and bare and exposed inside.

It's scary, really.

-Mel

I'm not... clear of mind enough to reply to this propperly... i'm going to write this and then (hopefully) head off to bed. school starts at 9am t'morrow. But I wanted to say a few things...

It's one thing to know that girls do look for a guy like me -- like I said, I like who I am, and, I donno, sometimes I think if certain ladies would just give me a chance... To know me... But, as much as they may look for a guy like me, they aren't looking for me, and that's the killer...

I'm afraid we all fall to the GlassPane... We only see our side, and we see ALL our side, and it's easy to imagine that we're so separated from everything else... It's so easy to imagine that they don't think or care about us the way we do them... It's easy to imagine, but we're all human. We all feel. -shrugs-

I want to know someone. I want to sit with a girl and listen to her tell me about her life, who she is, who she was, and how she got there. I want to hear about the other men she's loved, the friends she's had, and the hell she goes through every twenty-eight days. I want to sit with her, and hold her, and smell her hair, and love her passionately.

I'm a simple guy. I don't want much.

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(no subject)

You say such sweet things...

Re: You say such sweet things...

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