Ask Livejournal!

So, I'm kind of in the market for a new computer. It doesn't have to be much; in fact, it has to be not much. I'm really just looking for something reasonably light and mobile that can write text documents and access the internet. I don't generally trust laptops to not break, so I don't want to dump a lot of money into it.

My natural inclination is to build my own, but I so far can't find anywhere that lets you order laptops piecemeal. And even going to NewEgg, the best I can find is $600+ (going to Dell is $700+ and BestBuy is $800+).

Anyone out there know where/how I can get a cheap, basic computer? Or anyone out their looking to sell a gently-used laptop for a few hundred dollars?

Just Feeling Dissatisfied

OK, so before I go on about how sad I'm feeling, I wanted to acknowledge that I do have it good and I'm aware of that. I have a bit of debt but I'm hardly in a rough spot, I'm getting paid to get a higher education, I have friends and family who accept me for who I am, and I live in Monterey California (which is worth something, at least).

That having been said, I am feeling sad and I can't get myself around that. I miss my friends and family, most of whom are hours if not timezones away, and even Laurel is too preoccupied with school and Brian these days to be there whenever I need her. (Never mind that on at least a couple occasions in just the last week I haven't been there when she needed me, so I really have no place to complain.) I miss my siblings and my cousins; I haven't seen the Mock girls in far too long, and I've only talked with Rachel here and there in the last few months. My brothers seem to never be online and even when they are I don't get IMs or emails from them. (Though Gene is good about txt'ing me.)

From the I-WISH-I-had-those-kind-of-problems department, I'm currently torn right now on getting a new laptop or not. Nick kindly pointed out a website where I can get a suitably-cheap, baseline laptop. And I can either get it now or wait another month or two. Waiting a month or two has the disadvantage of, you know, waiting, but if I get it now I'd have to put it on credit because I don't have *quite* that much spare change laying around. And while my Discover card can handle it without much trouble, it's the only one that can and it's the highest interest rate that I have. And I've been trying so hard lately to get my debt down -- I firmly believe I will always have debt, be it credit or loan or mortgage, but it'd be nice to at least feel on-top of it. Part of me wants to meh, I'm going to graduate in September and double my pay, a few hundred dollars in the meantime isn't going to kill me. But another part of me would be disappointed in myself if I did.

On the girlfront... I haven't heard from Kira since early March. I emailed her about two weeks ago, just saying Hi and what not. I refuse to conclude anything from her silence, but I can't help but be disappointed. I just... It doesn't help that I've been thinking about my place in the world, and how unlikely it is to find someone who... "will accept me" isn't right, I have plenty of friends who will accept me, but I feel like I'm just always two steps out of place wherever I go. I'm not a religious fanatic, and I don't want to be and I'm not looking for one, but it feels like I'm not Catholic enough to satisfy the Catholic girls, and too Catholic for the non-Catholic girls. I'm just always the wrong guy.

And I have just slightly more than zero enthusiasm for my thesis. My only motivation for doing it at all is because it's a graduation requirement, and that's almost not enough. I can't seem to make myself get into my research. I have 5 months to write this paper and I can't get the energy up to do it.

I want to go home.

Anyways. Just feeling a little dissatisfied.

Boo taxes.

Ok, so I got about $450 back from my taxes this year; I think I mentioned that already. Presumably a lot of people (I might go so far as to say 'most people') got refunds. And while it's definitely good that you're getting a refund, it's kind of a sticking point for me... that sort of thing really makes me angry about our tax system. Because what a refund means is that you gave the government too much money, and now they're being kind enough to give it back. At base value, without interest or inflation or anything else that might go along with, say, a bank loan or even what would happen if you were late on your taxes and owed them money. They wouldn't graciously say, "Oh, no problem, we're a large multi-trillion dollar organization, you can just give us the few thousand you were missing and we'll call it even." No, they find you and charge you interest and late fees, and you'd best be sure you get your numbers right in case they audit you. It's shit. It's shit that only benefits them and hurts us, but they make it sound like such a great deal when you get a refund back. That's money they had no right to take from you in the first place!

end(rant);