jackofallgeeks | Songs What Amuse Me

So, a while back I found Jonathan Coulton's song "Code Monkey."

Code Monkey get up get coffee, Code Monkey go to job. Code Monkey have boring meeting with boring manager Rob. Rob say "Code Monkey very diligent, but his output stink. His code not 'functional' or 'elegant', what do Code Monkey think?"

Code Monkey think maybe manager want to write god damned login page himself -- Code Monkey not say it out loud; Code Monkey not crazy, just proud.

Code Monkey like Fritos. Code Monkey like Tab and Mountain Dew. Code Monkey very simple man with big warm fuzzy secret heart: Code Monkey like you.

Code Monkey hang around at front desk, tell you sweater look nice. Code Monkey offer buy you soda, bring you cup, bring you ice. You say "no thank you for the soda 'cause soda make you fat." Anyway you busy with the telephone, no time for chat. Code Monkey have long walk back to cubicle he sit down pretend to work. Code Monkey not thinking so straight, Code Monkey not feeling so great.

Code Monkey like Fritos. Code Monkey like Tab and Mountain Dew. Code Monkey very simple man with big warm fuzzy secret heart: Code Monkey like you.
Code Monkey like you a lot.

Code Monkey have every reason to get out this place. Code Monkey just keep on working, see your soft pretty face. Much rather wake up, eat a coffee cake, take bath, take nap. This job 'fulfilling in creative way,' such a load of crap. Code Monkey think someday he have everything even pretty girl like you. Code Monkey just waiting for now, Code Monkey say "someday, somehow."

Code Monkey like Fritos. Code Monkey like Tab and Mountain Dew. Code Monkey very simple man with big warm fuzzy secret heart: Code Monkey like you.

This is currently serving as my own personal theme-song. Searching iTunes for more songs by ThouShaltNot (one of my current favorite bands), I found "If I Only Were A Goth."

(to the tune of 'if i only had a heart')
I'd be thinner, I'd be taller, go clubbing in my collar, with skin pale as a moth. Dressed in black, I'd go creepin' while the normal folk are sleepin' if I only were a Goth.

With my hair up I'd look fancy, like Siouxsie and the Banshees, with silk or velvet cloth. Dressed in boots, never sandals, and the room would be lit with candles, if I only were a Goth

Yes I'd wanna die, from the bottom of my heart impure. Would I like another clove? Well, sure. And after that, we'll go listen to The Cure.

I'd pretend to be a vampire like in stories 'round the campfire, I'd suck your bloody froth. Yes the thing I'd be best at is impersonating Lestat, if I only were a Goth.

In my casket purse I'm toutin' Einsturzende Neubauten and pagan hymns to Thoth. Yes the world would be depressing, over death I'd be obsessing, and this corpse that I'm undressing would be sexier, I'm guessing, with my diet I'd get scurvy and I'd worship Peter Murphy, if I only were a Goth.

Certainly not theme-song material, but I think it's amusing, especially considering the way some of my friends react to my association with the subculture.