[identity profile] ambereternal.livejournal.com 2006-07-14 05:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he's never cried.

When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's not flipping you off. He's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Chuck Norris uses 16 muscles to smile, but only one to destroy an orphanage.

Seriously, the first one is hysterical.