John Noble (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
jackofallgeeks) wrote2006-01-17 12:40 pm
jackofallgeeks) wrote2006-01-17 12:40 pm
Entry tags:
As the blood runs red down the needle and thread...
I thought about Suzannah today.
It still hurts a little. Not as much, I think, as it did. I don't think about her all that much these days. Though, every now and then, I wish we were still in touch. There's a part of that, if let loose, would try to contact her, via email, snail-mail, phone, whatever. Just to reconnect. Which, you know, may be impossible; I don't even know anymore what I would want out of a relationship, little 'r', with her. It's the clean-cut (but really not-so-clean at all) that bugs me still. That, for no stated reason, all contact was cut, explicitly. I like to imagine I have a net-beneficial effect on everyone I know. I can't believe that when someone discards me so utterly.
It makes me almost as angry and I am hurt.
It still hurts a little. Not as much, I think, as it did. I don't think about her all that much these days. Though, every now and then, I wish we were still in touch. There's a part of that, if let loose, would try to contact her, via email, snail-mail, phone, whatever. Just to reconnect. Which, you know, may be impossible; I don't even know anymore what I would want out of a relationship, little 'r', with her. It's the clean-cut (but really not-so-clean at all) that bugs me still. That, for no stated reason, all contact was cut, explicitly. I like to imagine I have a net-beneficial effect on everyone I know. I can't believe that when someone discards me so utterly.
It makes me almost as angry and I am hurt.