"She obviously cares for you, but if you aren't going to be a major part of her life, what business have you to hold her back from living it?"
Interesting note -- you an Elizabeth, who have only known me since my break-up and have never really known Claire much at all have both said as much -- that is, 'she obviously cares for you.'
But that's not the point. I don't WANT to hold her back. Even if I were 'with' her... Does it not make any sense that I could be there for her, and support her, and be 'with' with out, to be blunt, worrying about her seeing other guys? My goal is not to pull someone down and make them, in some odd sense, 'mine.' I just want a mutual parter, who I can support as well as someone who will support me.
"It sounds like you've made your mind up but won't admit it to yourself."
At the same time, you're right to say this. I don't want to admit it to myself. I think that's the pull in my bones when ever I sit down and think about it rationally. I do my best thinking rationally, really. I don't want to give up on 'us,' because I like what we were, and I like what I imagine we could be. Maybe I have a tendency to live in the past -- hell, I'll tell you straight that I'm a traditionalist -- but I know I was happy, and I liked it.
I think though, really, that I just want to move on, but I don't want to be alone. And argue all you want about how I have great friends -- and I do -- but we all know that's not the Alone I mean. I don't know, maybe the difference is purely academic, but... -shrugs-
Look into my eyes and it's easy to see: One and one make two, two and one make three...
Interesting note -- you an Elizabeth, who have only known me since my break-up and have never really known Claire much at all have both said as much -- that is, 'she obviously cares for you.'
But that's not the point. I don't WANT to hold her back. Even if I were 'with' her... Does it not make any sense that I could be there for her, and support her, and be 'with' with out, to be blunt, worrying about her seeing other guys? My goal is not to pull someone down and make them, in some odd sense, 'mine.' I just want a mutual parter, who I can support as well as someone who will support me.
"It sounds like you've made your mind up but won't admit it to yourself."
At the same time, you're right to say this. I don't want to admit it to myself. I think that's the pull in my bones when ever I sit down and think about it rationally. I do my best thinking rationally, really. I don't want to give up on 'us,' because I like what we were, and I like what I imagine we could be. Maybe I have a tendency to live in the past -- hell, I'll tell you straight that I'm a traditionalist -- but I know I was happy, and I liked it.
I think though, really, that I just want to move on, but I don't want to be alone. And argue all you want about how I have great friends -- and I do -- but we all know that's not the Alone I mean. I don't know, maybe the difference is purely academic, but... -shrugs-
Anyone out there know any nice Catholic girls?